.blaqq hole.

poldars

2007-08-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

IF I PASS MY MARKET RESEARCH PAPER, I WILL GO VEGETARIAN FOR A WEEK.

horrible horrible paper.haha.it was ultimate crapfest. possibility of carol passing it? 1%? zz.stupid.ohh well..its over!so to hell w it. (:

okay so today after the paper was poldars outing. havent gathered for awhile now.. we should get tgt more ok? so it was dinner at pizza hut. tried out the cheese fondue thing. not fantastic. nth fantastic. just sme melted cheese thats all. but it was the company i guess. i have sme major catching up to do w numees. update story! cant wait to meet them again..but i heard the next outing is to sentosa (swimming, water polo, tanning, canoeing, banana boat..etc.)

OH NO!

i shall meet up w you guys for dinner or what at night ok? hee hee heee. so anw.i went to reds today and got myself a haircut, and the stylist encouraged me to get sme hair oil thing..so i gt it too. total up to $67.50. and just ytd i got myself a new watch frm swatch, shorts + a bangle from m)phosis. think im gonna get new aprils and that porter sling soon. but nt this week i guess..too much work going on. gonna be real busy. working everyday from tues - sun. ):

okay.. a few from today.

loves many many

psychology &meeee

2007-08-04T02:59:00.000+08:00

i am attempting to study psychology at 3am.
the psychology common test is on at 11am.
thats approximately 8hrs later.
haha haha.
screwed.

thursday

2007-08-03T01:40:00.000+08:00

lunch w the girls at 85.i like the tang yuans the most & the chicken wings. (:

..and of course.i love my girls.

once again a vessel
filled w vacuous thoughts.

days

2007-08-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

someone once told me
"..just because a person doesn't love you the way you want him/her to, doesn't mean he/her doesn't love you at all.."

i guess love isnt about comparison,
its just about acceptance.

midnight agony.

2007-07-29T02:15:00.000+08:00

you know..people change..

though you wished they'd remain the same.

or rather they didnt chage..

the fair facade merely chipped away.
'cause nothing lasts, everything fades..

leave it all behind & emancipate.

x listenin to : laura veirs

once more

2007-07-27T00:56:00.000+08:00

its amazing.
humans never fail to bring me down.

hello

2007-07-26T03:13:00.001+08:00

i just feel so tired.and it isnt just about being physically worn out it also applies to the emotional and mental aspects.have you ever just felt so drained.you cant even feel yourself crying.when everything you look at just seems so fucked up.so used up and so wasted.you told yourself that nth can enter the grey room.but still smehw they crawled through the windows.they invaded my mind.they tore it apart and left the room shredded.and all thats left is me cleaning up the mess.and suddenly i wake up and the sun's gone.i cant see anything within my grey room.my sanctuary.its all used up now.so whats there left for me?

memories in making.

2007-07-26T02:34:00.000+08:00

okay..im lazy to type.

goodbye.

for the loves.

2007-07-22T23:57:00.000+08:00

pictures from days ago..

extremely worn out..so, bye.
loves.

spiral into depression.

2007-07-22T16:20:00.000+08:00

at work you get fucked attitude from customers.
at home you get fucked attitude from parents.
at school you get fucked attitude from peers.

sick & tired.
lets just pass each other let strangers do.

MEHHHHHHH

2007-07-20T02:59:00.000+08:00

so today was a day out with mango dear & honey oats. MEHHHHHH! haha.damn spastic.sadly mango the lazy babi didnt come online!so i dont have the pics from today yet.but will upload tml or smething.if i can.im so sad la that babi aint working at bunk anymore.will miss her loads. ):

awww.so met up with honey & babi after sch.had a quick but great dinner at taka.went to walk a little.saw an agnes b tee that was quite cute. "rock and roll is NOT dead" LOL.i want it.but nxt mth!being broke sucks extremely.hahahaha.okay.so we were planning on having choc fondue.but fuck haagen daz!they didnt have it.dont have still put such a BIG tempting picture for what.

stupid retarded stupid retarded stupid retarded stupid retarded.

LOL.moving on.so we called up a few outlets to no avail.its not meant to be. ): so we ordered other stuff on the menu.still yummy.ice cream rocks my socks off.YAYY.after ice cream was movie at the cathay.BLACK SHEEP!its such a fucking lame movie.im telling you.i think it killed some of my brain cells.how do such scripts pass!ohh well.it was a good laugh anw.cabbed home after the movie.school at 11am tml.t-i-r-e-d.

and off i go!

pacified ego.

2007-07-18T17:43:00.000+08:00

okay.so thanks to felii i have been so called SABO-ed and i have to list down 6 weird facts about me. I also have to pass it on to 6 other poor souls.LOL.i think im gonna break that rule and now cause mroe victims, so im just gonna list dwn 6 weird facts about me.

Each player of the game has to start off by giving 6 weird things about themselves.People who get tagged needs to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly.In the end , you'll need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list out their names.

1. i wished stitch was real and that he was my dog.

2. i like my room to be dark though im afraid of the dark.

3. i imagine myself killing people.

4. i love to watch girls.

5. i like to sleep with my back against the wall.

6. i think we all live in a matrix.

smother me pretty face.

some IQ

2007-07-15T22:31:00.000+08:00

so i just took the IQ test for the 2nd bloody time cos the page cldnt load at work this morn. its really quite retarded.cos now my printer cant print it. im just cursed. god hates me i think. ):

Results of Your IQ Test

Your IQ Score adjusted for age & gender
= 125
Your IQ Score adjusted for age only
= 133
Your IQ Score no adjustments
= 123

Other facts about your score...
The mean score for this test is 100 IQ points...
The standard deviation is 15...
You scored in the 79th percentile...
The maximum score in your age & gender category is 166 ...

who the hell has a score close to 166? thats madness.brain explode alr i think.

believe me natalie

2007-07-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

what do you expect from me?

loves

2007-07-13T01:54:00.000+08:00

woke up late again.whats new eh..went to school for proj & CDS.i hate SPSS & psycho.they both bore me.so thursday is officially boredoom day.zz.okay and so after school met up with ish & liv.

dinner at paragon - soup spoon

shopping at paragon & shaw house.

i finally saw the gucci belt up close.its cute but not really that cute.black or brown?i cant decide.anw.i spotted an agnes b bag.its so pretty.but then again it should be shouldnt it since it costs $545.zz.sadly i dont print money. ):

..and i love you ish, lets have more talks over tripleberry.LOL.

CUTE

silly rabbit.tricks are for kids.
june's over.

x listenin to : the killers - believe me natalie.

jenny jenny &me.

2007-07-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

She calls me baby
then she wont call me
says she adores me
and then ignores me

Jenny, What's the problem?

She keeps her distance
and sits on fences
puts up resistance
and builds defenses

Jenny, Whats the problem?

You keep me hanging on the line
everytime you change your mind

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still

Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

She needs her own space
she's playing mind games
ends up at my place
saying that she's changed

Jenny, what's the problem?

I'm trying to read between the lines
you got me going out of my mind
First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still

Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me
It's killing me
It's killing me
Jenny

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still

Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

First you say you wont
then you say you will
you keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still

Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me
It's killing me

Jenny

another day.

2007-07-10T04:09:00.000+08:00

TIME TAKES EVERYTHING AWAY.

The Killers - Everything Will Be Alright

2007-07-08T15:22:00.000+08:00

I believe in you and me

I'm coming to find you

If it takes me all night

Wrong until you make it right

And I won't forget you

At least I'll try

And run, and run tonight

Everything will be alright

I was out shopping for a doll

To say the least, I thought I've seen them all

But then you took me by surprise

I'm dreaming bout those dreamy eyes

I never knew, I never knew

So take your suitcase, cause I don't mind

And baby doll, I meant it every time

You don't need to compromise

I'm dreaming bout those dreamy eyes

I never knew, I never knew

But it's alright...

Everything will be alright

again again.

2007-07-08T01:04:00.000+08:00

i overslpt 1hr today morn.
got up arnd 9am.horrible.
got to work and almost died.
i wonder why im so tired!
after work was a lil shopping with mango.
she rocks. (:
kept me company on short notice.
went to zara, ralph lauren & queen's.
nth much.got my april 77 jeans.
happy.HEEE..
met up with liv and caught the 6.45pm slot of 13.
cine had many many pple.
such familiarity.weird huh.
aft movie was dessert at a soba hse in paragon.
appetite loss again.
I WANT THE GUCCI BAG.
such a pretty thing i saw. ):
time to start saving!

&again.

2007-07-07T01:42:00.001+08:00

was late for school again today.as usual.
went for work & met my twin.
didnt eat much, appetite loss again.
after work was supper with the old man & honey.
been a long time!
didnt have time for supper with em recently.
but i'll have tons of time now.LOL.
you know, i cant explain the feeling now.
its not anger, its not pain.
its just melancholy.
i wonder.

nothingness.

2007-07-04T18:05:00.000+08:00

sitting in the TP com lab.
doing a fucking boring APEL quiz.
makes me wonder what the hell im doing here.
i must be really drained of emotions to be here.
or maybe im just having too much to handle.
work is tiring.wearing me out completely.
had fever 2days back.well who cares.
i'd rather i burn up right there and then.
and not drag on to live this life.
so very low.all the mood flew out the window i think.
well at least theres the killers to listen to.
so wonderful.the killers at 6pm in the TP com lab.
sounds so loser.but i cant be home.
work sucks, school sucks, life sucks.
i like the hours spent talking.
i like the feeling of doing nothing.
i miss the hours of what doesnt exist.
but it doesnt exist does it?
hahahaaa.i dont exist.

monday

2007-07-03T18:28:00.000+08:00

so today was to be in sch at 10am for 1st ave retail and 12pm for class.
i woke up arnd 9am and fell aslp again to wake at 11.38am.LOL.
bravo.i was to fly to sch in 12mins.madness.
ended up was last person to reach class arnd 12.20pm.
IM SO HAPPY.
i passed my finance paper.hooray.
so i only failed merch buying so far.
not bad considering i didnt study.
monday and everybody seems kinda mild and blue.
i wonder why.
was listening to a band - cake.
they remind me of quentin tarantino.(?) LOL.
Kill Bill.LOL.quite happy today.cos i've got ❤!

HEE HEE HEE
love my girls. (:

ohh, and i want the pretty gucci belts, april 77 jeans, ralph lauren polos, accessorize bag and i want new shoes! broke ):
money drop from the sky now.LOL

x listenin to : john mayer

FEVER

2007-07-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

hahaha.im down with fever.
must be from the late nights, rubbish food, lack of water and running arnd.
i cant stand upright, my head hurts, my throat hurts, and i feel kinda cold.
need to be dwn at 1st avenue at 9am tml.and im working till 11pm.
how to survive?? ):

and i've got work tml night.and the night after.
dead.

2007-06-29T02:26:00.000+08:00

hahahahaaa.
so gay la.
why am i crying at 2.25am.
i wonder why i exist.

JUNE'S OVER

2007-06-27T21:06:00.000+08:00

Thinking about thinking of you

Summertime think it was June

Yeah think it was June

Laying back, head on the grass

Children grown having some laughs

Yeah having some laughs.

Made me feel like the one

The one

Made me feel like the one

The one

Drinking back, drinking for two

Drinking with you

And drinking was new

Sleeping in the back of my car

We never went far

Needed to go far

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one

The one

Made me feel like the one

The one

I don't know where we are going now

Wake up cold coffee and juice

Remembering you

What happened to you?

I wonder if we'll meet again

Talk about us instead

Talk about why did it end

Made me feel like the one

The one

Made me feel like the one

The one

I don't know where we are going now

So take a look at me now

another day.

2007-06-27T01:51:00.000+08:00

didnt go to class today, was too tired and overslept.
and there were dumbasses snatching my cab.zz!
ended up havin lunch with jess & mel.
it was yummy.i was damn full.
headed to sch and stoned.
decided to unstone and headed to yishun to mt up with feliis.
went for dinner sponsored by felii's dad.
he's uber cute. (:
the crab was awsome.but my fingers were so tired la.
zz.i no stamina.LOL.aft that got dvds and headed back.
3 retards snuggled up watching the hills have eyes.
it was fun.i love you guys.

pictures from genting.

love you guys oh so much! (:

x listenin to : maroon 5

randomness

2007-06-25T18:46:00.000+08:00

back from genting and back to school again.
had little sleep.rouchly 4hrs+ i think?
haha.brain dead again.but today's classes were slack.
so i guess its fine..had fun aft sch.
headed to RAFFLES CITY with felii.
i miss laughing like that.
queued for DONUT FACTORY 1.5hrs.
bought 12 donuts.shared it with many.
5 left now.got myself a MAC powder and SKIN FOOD base.
im so poor.just completed the timesheets.
i earned $430+ this month.not bad considering i was like mia.
GENTING photos up soon.now im at work emo-ing.
its really scary how pple change.
and when they do, they blame it on you.
such fuckers.

BYEEE AGAIN!

2007-06-22T01:39:00.001+08:00

okayy.and off i go again.this time to GENTING.

i'll leave all the lies behind & getaway.

so very VERY tired.

4hrs and im gone.

dont forget me.

HAHAHAHAAAA

2007-06-21T16:44:00.001+08:00

YES!WE'RE BORED!

6 days

2007-06-20T03:10:00.002+08:00

why do i even bother.
its the same over & over again.
you know its all the same.
you know that excrutiating pain.
back to the grey room.
concrete walls built up high.
i'll never let you in again.
i've learnt my lesson this time.

BORED

2007-06-19T15:12:00.000+08:00

GO DO AND MAKE MY DAY

Create your own Friend Test here

KOREA

2007-06-19T13:40:00.000+08:00

and so when i was in korea i wanted to be back.

and yet here i am nw and it still feels as though smeting's missing.

i wonder what it is.

i wonder when it all began.

ohh well.pictures from KOREA.

okayy..im lazy..genting photos soon. (:

gone! (:

2007-06-12T03:05:00.000+08:00

ALRIGHT PEEPS!!

FOR THOSE OF YOU GUYS WHO DONT ALREADY KNOW THAT I'M OFF TO KOREA FOR MY STUDY TRIP.TAKE NOTE ALRIGHT!I'LL BE GONE FROM 12th TO 17th JUNE.

DONT MISS ME TOO MUCH!

x listenin to : the killers!

ZOO again!

2007-06-12T02:29:00.000+08:00

okayy..im like uber lazy to blog.so heres to wrap it up.
i went to the zoo today(11 June '07) with jess, liv, mel & ish.

i almost died.

reasons :
1. it stinks like shit everywhr
2. the sun the SUN!
3. food food
4. water water
5. the sun again?

okay la.but it was kinda fun.
since im like uber lazy im gonna post pictures. (:

it's just love.

wonders.

2007-06-06T00:34:00.000+08:00

you know, things change..
and when i was younger i didnt think the same.
i didnt expect that i would hate,
things i used to anticipate.

i used to feel whole, comfort.
yet now all i see is rejection.
you no longer appreciate my efforts.
all you do is diss & pass judgement.

erase the pain & emancipate
spin spin spin away love & faith
'cause who bothers to walk in anymore.
i bet you even overlooked the door.

i feeel sooooo faaaaiiinnnntttttttttttttttttt. ROFLMAO.
& i hate you you and YOU!

IM SUPER BORED.

2007-06-04T01:26:00.000+08:00

okay.yayy.i've got new songs.and they are playing in winamp.i havent studied for the paper yet.and it happens in arnd 14 hrs time. -DEAD- (:

Everybody’s hurt somebody before
Everybody’s been wound by somebody before
You can change but you’ll always come back for more
It’s a game and we're all just victims of love
Everybody’s hurt somebody before
Everybody’s been hurt by somebody before
You can change, but you’ll always come back for more
It’s a game and we're all just victims of love

replace the SHEs with HEs.

When you call she doesn't answer, when you write she doesn't answer
You go out you see him with her, she told you she was sick at home
The ring you gave her thrown away with all the letters
And when you see him with her, he doesn't even care at all

As she follows him around like you follow her around
And he doesn't even care and your figuring out
The only way your gonna keep somebody around

Well I'm about to let you know
There's something I don't wanna understand
The only way a woman is gonna want a man
The only way you'll ever keep her in your hands
Is breaking apart her heart

Don't tell her she is the reason that you live
Don't give her everything that you got to give
If you want to keep the girl for as long as you live
Just break it apart her heart

Can't you see the way she's crying
Well that's what keeps her trying, she knew that she could have you
And he don't give her what she wants
There's truth about this, you say you want to be noticed
Well if you want to be noticed you gotta learn to break some hearts
Don't try to understand

There's something I don't wanna understand
The only way a woman is gonna want a man
The only way you'll ever keep her in your hands
Is breaking apart her heart
Don't tell her she is the reason that you live
Don't give her everything that you got to give
If you want to keep the girl for as long as you live
Just break it apart her heart

(replace SHE with HEs)
quite true.if you think about it.

random thought.

2007-06-03T11:38:00.000+08:00

i want the SUPERMARIO and LUGI plush toys from tenchi.
$79.90 X 2 = $159.80

waddefuckinghell.
i shall camp under a tree and wait for money to drop.

x listenin to : death cab death cab & death cab.

2007-05-28T00:14:00.000+08:00

dont judge me.

A chat with carol.

2007-05-24T21:05:00.000+08:00

Hi, so today i went for psychology class, and we took a quiz on self fulfillment.
i scored 38 points.
Anyway, thats supposed to be bad, 'cause the higher you score represents higher fulfillment in your life.
Apparently, people who score an average of 40 and above are "safe". It means that they are living in the NOW.
And so, it is inferred that I live too much in the past, such that it is affecting my ability to perform better.
i live in the past.LOL. (cave woman)

Weird. Anyway, today is chicken rice day, 'cause i ate chicken rice twice, though both were unfinished.
Appetite loss, giddiness, tummy upsets and what not.
Sick of living. Anyway, ROYCE champagne choc rocks my socks off.
Today i played djmax 2 for 80mins straight. i completed 1 more mission, and had 4 more max combos.
I would have been jolly swell about it if my butt wasnt so flat from sitting and from sweating.
My hands were also trembling 'cause they were tired from pressing the dumb keys.
i LOVE irene chan's lectures, 'cause i played the PSP throughout. (:
I finished the dumb test in 5mins.
someone said i have matured.
I'm feeling very random at this moment.
I played pangya again 15mins ago.
i lost to padpod. ):
she had her first albatross.hahaa.
RANDOM.
Im feeling quite tired and lonely right nw.
olivia lied to me.
she said she would be home at 9pm.
it's currently 9.21pm here.hahaa.
SBS buses have weird smells. Today i went on 2 buses. Bus no. 1 smelled of soap + motor, while bus no. 2 smelled of tofu and banana fritters.HAHAHAHAA.
Was too tired on the way home to play PSP.
Shagged.
Tell me why i am living.

nothing and nothing

2007-05-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

work work work.
monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday monday wednesday friday saturday sunday

kill me.
and im seriously too tired.
nauseous and just so sick of all thats wearing me dwn.

WTHROFLMAO.

2007-05-16T11:23:00.000+08:00

some snaps for entertainment.

OMFG.acting cute wears me out.
ROFLMAO X:
awwwwwww~ (:

x listenin to : the killers!

untitled crap.

2007-05-13T12:31:00.000+08:00

feel so tired.seriously.i think i've just abt had it.

im in love with this song "Indie Rock & Roll" by The Killers.
and im so bored.okay, bye.

fuck it.

2007-05-09T11:01:00.000+08:00

nothing goes ~~right.~~EVER.

tralalalaaa~~

2007-05-09T01:36:00.000+08:00

woke up to a sweet message to day.almost made me tear. ^^" apparently to someone close im a shower of blessings!awwww...*touched* its sweet aint it.well..just glad someone has felt my love! X:

thats what friends are for.to do shit together. LOL. <3

this really doesnt need a title.

2007-05-03T01:29:00.000+08:00

YOU ARE SO FUCKED UP.DO YOU KNOW THAT?

did you lose your brain along the way?!

fucktard.

nothing else to take my mind off

2007-05-02T21:50:00.000+08:00

i feel so tired.

what i ate today :
- 1/3 plate of chic rice from ITAS.
- 1 bottle of sugar cane drink
- 1 bottle of green tea

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL~ so bored.

these days..

2007-05-02T00:47:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder..if i let the hate dissipate, will the fear and pain start to seep in?if i stop the tears from coming out, will i then be free from pity?so so so sick of this.zz.

anw ate a meal today.mummy made me eat. :x
she says that i'm probably so weak recently bcos i dont eat.maybe i have an eating disorder.hahahaa.trust me.im definately not on a diet.i dont really care abt diets and stuff.its just that my appetite as been like close to 0 all this time.hw long now?probably abt 3 weeks or so.it just dawned on me that it's probably the reason why i keep falling asleep all the time.no food in the system to be burned for energy.thus, i am energy-less. LOL. i wonder..will i go to sleep and not have the energy to wake up.and thus die in my sleep? ^^

and then i think again.nahh~ would god be so sweet to lemme die in my sleep.probably not.zz.and so i've decided.i cant be bothered to eat. LOL. i dont have a death wish.but i really dont have the appetite at all.sis says i should be more err..whats the word.."strong"?

i think im doing pretty okay.apart from the dips into melancholy and emo-ism, and that not eating part.im fine.zz.at least im not bawling and drownin in self-pity.zz.i feel so sleepy..haha.worked today.carried the dumb 5.5L water tank frm the toilet.and it was leaking.WTF.my energy level is like 3%.almost killed me.had to open the door summore.i carried the dumb water with 1 arm.stylo milo~ carol got muscles alr.felt really tired.but cldnt sleep on the train back.had too much on my mind.i wanna get it out.extract the vacuous thoughts.put the black room in.and today the emo pirate dropped by bunk.I HARDWORKING OKAY.I DONT JUST 'SLACK'! :x

hahaahahahaaaa.demented.too tired to blog.dug out old songs.i need to take my mind off.

x listenin to : goldfrapp, mono, pete yorn, velvet underground.

yes, i hate all of you.

2007-04-28T01:52:00.000+08:00

okay im in this really fucking disgusting mood.

i kinda envy those pple who always seem to have so many people in their lives to pour their woes out on. it must be nice to always be complaining to different people who actually fucking listen to u. dont see that happening to me.seriously.i cant even think of 1 person who's sincerely there to listen. im tired. i think i have mastered the art of confiding in my soft toys.LOL.

im tired of being patient, mild, nice, tolerant and what not. tired of them giving me shit treatment. tired of being strong. tired of comforting myself. tired of keeping me company. i hate you.i hate all of you. you fucking shit holes. i hate every day. i hate every night.i hate every moment you sneak back into my thoughts. i hate every moment i push myself forward.

im not crying. guess why. i have mastered the art of holding my tears back. to let myself chip inside. does it matter? when you all see the outer surface. superficial acts satisfying society's needs. yayy.im happy and im okay. because im so strong! i guess i just dont like to drown in my abyss of self pity. and guess what.i have yet mastered another skill! i am now able to cry without a sound!no whimpers or breathless shrieks. so you all will never knw im crying.

with every day i feel myself building the barriers. i can see. one day nobody will enter this grey room anymore. but just as well dont you think? nobody makes the effort anyway. they just trample over me and leave.

hello, byebye.

2007-04-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

okay.so today i was super emo.

please dont ask me why.i dont know either.

ah bob bought me chocs.

and thats sweet!so im blogging abt it.

thanks. (:

HOHOHOHO!

2007-04-24T09:08:00.000+08:00

so anyway i cut my finger LOL..

and its bleeding.cool.

blood BLOOD blood. ^^

NIL

2007-04-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

isnt it strange..

how much i can laugh.

but i cant seem to cry?

i can feel it on the edge and some part of me wants to let it out.

and yet..i dread the moment.

HA HA HA HA HAA!

2007-04-22T01:09:00.000+08:00

they should really make a character called little miss pretentious.

it would fit you perfectly! ^^

..and there it goes.

2007-04-21T02:24:00.000+08:00

..and so it goes. out the window once again. another broken window to mend. im really worn out.

see those there.they make me think of you.and these over here.they do too.see that shirt, that jacket, that watch, that bag, that plush, that movie, that color, that place..

that look i get.that life i had.that joy.that love. its all crushed. these vacuous thoughts.

gosh, you cut me deep. how am i to mend this. i guess i'll have to..for what else cld i do?

once again. someone ripped my heart out.

IF..

2007-04-19T10:58:00.000+08:00

If i contemplated suicide,

would you hug me and cry?

Would you say NO?

..because you'll miss me so.

The best way

to make it through,

with hearts and wrists intact,

is to realize that

two out of three ain't bad.

didnt sleep well last night.had alot on my mind.just those thoughts.please dont.you've always got me.dont worry.im not those pretentious freaks.i may not be the best at comforting.i may not be the wisest.but i've got a shoulder u can alw lean on.so thrash the idea.you've always got me.

not exactly feeling perky now.but was halfway thru ytd night so just lemme post abt ytd.was up all emo in the morning.didnt see anything that thrilled me.started to feel like life was kinda meaningless and painful.went to work and tried to keep my mind occupied with work.you know i may break.but i will not falter.because i know there are pple out there apart from u who love me keeping me tgt.after work stayed at bunk for awhile before i went to meet up with ish & liv.

fuck kushinbo for having to renovate starting 16th April.screwed our plans.so we took up liv's idea and went to a soba restaurant at Paragon.im not exactly in the mood to elaborate.so im just gonna paste a ton of photos.

i love her.i love them.and i know they love me too.

19th April

im so tired.so very tired of all this.can somebody tell me what is going on?break me down and i am but a human being.does god hate me so..to make me go through the same vicious cycle through and through.what do you expect of me?can somebody tell me please?cause it seems im not good enough.what ever did i do to deserve this?this hell you put me thru.i do admit i did love you.but whats left of me now.i have no capacity to love.i have no appetite left to eat.i have nightmares that dont allow me to sleep.i feel restless.and so tired.and yet every night you make it seem its whats expected of me.im not trying to pick a fight.but dont you think i deserve more than this?what happened to my baby?whoever took him away from me?cause i cant seem to feel anyone next to me.and every single night i cry to sleep.every single day i stand on my own 2 feet.and everyday i miss someone who doesnt love me.

how many?

2007-04-18T12:42:00.000+08:00

and once again it got ripped out.
and the strings attached pulled it apart.
it ripped, it tore and it bled.
at 1.27am.
and now it beats no more.

sweet HONEY moments

2007-04-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

spent e day off with my dearest.well.who else will be here for me?

woke up, washed up, changed and got out of the hse.in my blackcurrent tee.LOL..went to bunk to kp my honey company and be free labour frm 1pm+ - 6pm!! ._." okayy..aft that we contemplated watching a movie.but ended up didnt and decided to just take a walk arnd orchard..and the dumbo made me walk from dhoby to orchard. ):

i got so tired.

finally we reached the bloody heeren.zz.then went into the shops.honey bought a 'LITTLE MISS LATE' top from queen's couture. ^^ suitable for u la. :x and me..i got a black tee from flash and splash.whee~ YES..black suits me.cos im so emo.zz.after that honey and me went to NYDC for dinner! ^^

my manhattan meatball pasta!! ^^
honey's baked rice with meatballs, salami and ham?

honey drink drink drink!!

honey eat eat eat!!

whats left of spaghetti, baked rice and iced fruity elephanccino! :x

we are so FULL! ):

so off we went to cineleisure to walk off the giant meal. ^^ walked arnd.and i spotted grey sneaks in the shoe shop leftfoot. only $59.90.should i get it? me and honey both got cute tees with the messages 'WEDNESDAY' and 'I CAN'T PARK FOR NUTS'. adorable!then i went to hula & co. and got a rolling stones top too.i like new clothes..aft that it was arnd 10+ so me and honey headed to the train station to gt hme. crapped on the ride hme.i love my honey. fun day. ^^

you may have been caught up in your family matters.i understand that.and i respect that too.what i cannot comprehend is how you chucked me aside as thought i was a seperate part of your life that needed to be shelved for other matters.you may have felt that i pressured you to account to me.but what i merely expected was some respect.you said i wouldnt understand.did you think that i would have unreasonably demanded your time and attention?why, im surprised you think that little of me.if you think im just a spoilt brat who needed your attention.then i guess you are wrong.i only wanted to know what was going on in your life.dont you think i deserve to know?dont people confide in their loved ones?i guess you dont.cause you seem to just shut off.you decided for me that i didnt want to know.i wouldnt understand.if you think that being ignored for 12 days is easy.you can jolly well try it yourself.after accusing me do you realise what your attitude is like?how i have become a convenience?i am but human too, i need care and concern too. maybe i was giving you pressure unknowningly but i dont think i deserved to be blamed.seriously im tired.i dont wanna argue too.but i dont wanna dangle in mid-air either.just be honest if things bug you.no pity card.no evasion.cause seriously, that wont work out for long.

im so sick of this room.

WEE OOO WHEE~

2007-04-17T15:26:00.000+08:00

NB ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME!

all the different names for the same things.

i dont get the midnight blues.

2007-04-17T00:42:00.000+08:00

i seriously need a hug right now.haha.

okay.dont sound so needy but i just feel like im going to burst into tears.i feel like i've got so much bottled up right from the start.

nobody understands.nobody knows.but hey, even i dont know why.sometimes people just gotta do things because its the 'right' thing to do. thought it hurts its 'right', right?

and it drags on.we move on.and now again im sitting here wondering who i could turn to. who can i seek comfort in with no strings attached?

who could i melt into without asking questions?

when i close my eyes.i see you.

who will understand my pain?cause seriously..i dont either.

imagine this..

2007-04-16T10:57:00.000+08:00

YOU are like a room.four plain walls with glass windows looking out and looking in.

now..the walls are your personal barriers, your protection from all the cold outside the door.

the DOOR the portal through which you let yourself out into the world.when you step outside your comfort zone.when you come into contact with someone else.

the WINDOWS are the different aspects of your life.however be warned, when you look out from your room it may be totally different from the view of the person looking in. Things may not always be as they seem or as you would like 'em to be.

the WALLS or every individual's room is painted differently.according to their personality, thoughts and outlook in life.

recently i've been residing in my grey room. with my thoughts painting and re-painting the walls. I dont think i'm sure how i feel. i thinked i barred up one of the windows. but how much of the cold can be avoided? its tiring. shutting the door. and pretending im contented being alone inside.i wonder, does anyone else feel this way?

blues..

2007-04-10T11:09:00.000+08:00

In this world of news, I've found nothing new

I've found nothing pure

Maybe I'm just idealistic to assume that truth

Could be fact and form

That love could be a verb

Maybe I'm just a little misinformed

As the dead moon rises, and the freeways sigh

Let the trains watch over the tides and the mist

Spinning circles in our skies tonight

Let the trucks roll in from Los Angeles

Maybe our stars are unanimously tired

Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down

Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud

Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your eyes

All of my world hanging on your love

Let the wars begin, let my strength wear thin

Let my fingers crack, let my world fall apart

Train the monkeys on my back to fight

Let it start tonight

When my world explodes, when my stars touch the ground

Falling down like broken satellites

Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down
Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your skies
All that i am hanging on

All of my world resting on your love

K time.

2007-04-06T12:12:00.000+08:00

woke up ytd arnd late morn..woke with liv the idiot.hahaa..she cooked me pasta.THANKS!it was not bad..but hey..the sauce was ready-made. :x hee.okok.so aft we were done changin and stuff headed to the clinic opp to get the goon an MC.then headed to city hall. [:

got there and as the pigs we were..we got hungry!hahaa..so we got coffee and muffins.so good!it was yummy. [: then walked arnd HMV.checked out couple of bands..and i gt a switchfoot album..and an edward scissorshand DVD!! ^^

so happy.

okok.then ish came and we met up with shitted too and rushed to Kbox!yayy.we got the K buffet thing.i ate quite abit. :x

LARD. :x

they had mini cakes [:

*chomp CHOMP chomp*

x listenin to : fall out boy

these days..

2007-04-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

woke up to cartoons and MTV.larded with drumlets, eclair and apple juice.laid on the couch..no mood for work.but heck.i went anw.was early today..waited at the bus stop for the bus.SBS YOU SUCK.i waited for close to 20mins before the bus rolled to a stop.yeah.and it moved pretty slow too..had a couple of sec sch kids in it.i felt kinda old ]:

walked slowly today..took my time.reached bunk and did the new handover trans.email and all.its simple.was over real soon.so greedy me went to MOS and gt a coffee milkshake.hee..it tasted good..was hungry.*oink*

work was slow..relaxed..drew the template for the handover book since i figured nobody else was gonna do it.i miss my honey.cant wait for her to be back ]: baby showed up arnd 7pm with MOS burger's burger.LOL.and coffee milkshake!! you rock. toilet breaked..sent baby off..dazed out.munched on MOS.played acid factory.yayy-ness when pirate gave me my dose of new tunes.THANKS! [:

server for audition and maple was kuku.players cldnt log in.HOHOHO!carol even more relaxed..and even more bored.yayy-ness again when crabby patty came to kp me company online.THANKS! cured me of my boredoom.at least someone cld entertain me.*yawn* i was so free i was out of counter and cleared rubbish and arranged chairs by 10am.zz.6 pple left.and i rotted for the last 25mins. [:

after i closed bunk up took the train hme with baby..i love lying on ur shoulder and listening to tunes. [: gives me a sense of security smehw.LOL.made a stop at cheers.got snacks to munch.i was hungry. :x YES IM GREEDY.hahaa.munched on the bus.

hugged when i got hme.and chatted with my honey.whos in SHANGHAI.cant wait for u to be back. [: feeling kinda dazed now..been having weird dreams.sometimes i fl like my body will nv be 'well'.alw have smething goin bad inside.zz.melancholy's taking over me. :x

x listenin to : the early november

2ND MONTH MADNESS

2007-04-02T00:21:00.000+08:00

happy 2nd month to my vain pot and me. (:

i had fun really really really..but exhausted too.dreading work tml.zz.

i only started taking sme pics halfway thru. :x hahaaa..
anw..MOS Burger has new cheese cake bars.LIMITED EDITION or so they claim.grab one soon before they are gone!i tried one in COCOA flavor. (:

nice packaging..i like.

greedy GREEDY greedy..

busy BUSY busy..chomping away..

after shopping arnd for a lil while headed to VIVO CITY..initially wanted to catch sneaks of sunshine but the bangla at the counter said there were none.zz.so instead walked arnd a lil more. sad ):

actually the 'shaky' effect's not that bad :x

walked arnd VIVO for a lil while.they had a few stalls set up opp food republic. there was an art piece that was so adorable!wanted it.but i bet its really ex. sad ): ohh well..

ended up at no signboard seafood restaurant!

he decides..

..while i look arnd..*i want that!PRETTY!*

sharks fin w crab meat..NICE! ^^

..sme baby squid thing..they are so tiny.. ._.

sme fish paste you tiao thing..not bad.but tons of sesame. T.T

prawns!!yayy..i like prawns.prawns are nice. (:

chomp CHOMP chomp

pepper crab CRAB crab!!

..it was YUMMY..to the max!!

spastic.

yayayaa..just drink your tea. [:

baby you eat fast.
after the extremely filling meal..cabbed hme and played with my anni present!PLAY-DOH!
yayy~carol got a breakfast and spongebob set! ^^ fun FUN fun..

YES.deprived childhood whatever ok.it was great fun. [:

i made play-doh waffles with butter & strawberries..and toast with an egg. [:

..and a play-doh spongebob! LOL.

..and more!i am so exhausted :x

- thanks so much for all the bits and pieces..i love you.

- and my honey is in shanghai!BOO..i'll miss her loads.ohh well..hope she thinks of me when she sees donuts.hahaa.. [:

-thanks pirate for the songs!!LOL.

x listenin to : taking back sunday

SICK KID!

2007-03-27T13:27:00.000+08:00

so what did the doc say?

- fever
- phalpm (flam) in the nose
- as a result, phalpm (flam) in the throat
- as a result, infection in the EAR ._.
- if not treated, infection moves on to the BRAIN!
- that stage of infection would result in me being paralysed? ._."

*PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE SICK, PROCEED TO THE NEAREST CLINIC FOR CONSULTATION IMMEDIATELY BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!! T.T

im so going to stay at home and rest lest i become paralysed..

late night blues?

2007-03-24T03:27:00.000+08:00

i am repressive..

i am overbearing..

i am hard hearted..

i am awake at 3.29am..

like rain in broken paper cups.

OFF TO SUSHI-FY MYSELF!!

2007-03-21T21:01:00.000+08:00

went out today with those two crazy pple. (:

really i've missed em quite a bit.had fun today..thx for sending me hme too~ sorry i was so sickly today..LOL~ shall make up for it by being more energetic nxt time rnd :x LOL~ so sushi was fun today..miao stuffed herself ALOT.amazing! *clap clap* mainly me and marcus just watched her eat.hahahaa~

we started off all nice.. (:

after this..i started to feel FULL. :x

so i went for some tempura ice cream..
*it tasted like ice cream in thick bread :x*

start scouting for more sushi!!

the conveyor belt ~~failed~~ to entertain me!!

im FULL..

arent you? ):

hahaa..i think you are!!

ohh..you've got a long way more~!! :x

awww..dont despair~!!

DONT FORCE IT TO ME EITHER!! ahhHHh~ :x

BLEAHH! time to puke :x

a kiss for u?poor girl.. (:

HOHOHO~dont be shy!

suh-weet~ ^^

ME! snapped by miao in an attempt to capture the fleeting momok..ended up it was me. :D
sweet things they sent me hme cos i was feeling kinda giddy and all. ^^

i'ved missed you quite a bit! *hugs*

x listenin to : yellowcard

blood IS thicker than water (:

2007-03-19T01:12:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel so alone.dont you?but i guess people just have to move on.. ^^

and there are people who will always constantly be by your side!!

yayy..went out today..to celebrate shitt-eds good results for his A lvls. (:

CONGRATS again!hahaa~and i grabbed 2 tops.woot.spastic photos during the drive home.went mad in the backseat.it was a fun night.LOVE you guys always!

LITTLE MISS ISH-IE!

YOU DO KNOW THAT YOU ARE VAIN RIGHT? :x

OOH..?
im TINY the T-REX's emo twin!!

LETS CUDDLE UP SWEETIE! (:

LOVE HER TO BITS!!

SMARTY-PANTS!

HOHOHO~!
WHATS UP WITH THE HAIR?!
..FINALLY A DECENT PICTURE! ^^"

hohoho~im shagged.exhausted~ think i laughed too hard on the drive home.lost my voice in the process!and im sick SICK sick! LOL~ hope to get better soon.stuffy noses are annoying. :x im off to bed..got work again tml. *sobs* ):

x listenin to : death cab for cutie!

tralalalaaa~~

2007-03-17T22:50:00.000+08:00

its amazing how fast your friends can turn on you.
but then again, if they could i guess they wouldnt be friends yeah?

ohh well..the world is always filled with pretentious people. (:

HELLO WORLD!

2007-03-13T00:26:00.000+08:00

i had a haircut at REDS today~!! woot!! :x now i can style my limp hair with wax! LOL~

had a trim at the fringe and the stylist layered my hair and made it lighter to appear more err...volume-nised? :x *is there a word to explain an increase in volume?* zz!
whatever la huh..LOL~anw.im lazy to upload pix.and gonna be bombed this mth cos gt 2 special bdaes cming up!dear livie's and shitted's!! ^^ im excited too la..anw met up with ishie just a few days ago.been a long time since i've been at her hse rolling anrd in her bed! :x tee hee hee~i miss her loads! (: anw..busy like hell this week with work.gt a few things coming up~nd to mt up with a few pals too..tee hee..TIRED TIRED TIRED!

yayy* i get to work with my darling this wk in the morns. (: i miss elie's hugs!!tee hee~im off to bed..if not somebody cme whack me.update again sn..tata!

ohh ya..i wanna go to arab st to get emo clothesand other cool stuff!!

x listenin to : PANIC! AT THE DISCO (thx to derrick the emo shit :x)

LMAO

2007-03-09T02:01:00.000+08:00

okay~ im bored!! :x

i woke up to this!

2007-03-07T12:46:00.000+08:00

watch the latest video by avril at http://avrillavigne.com/index.jsp !!

ohhmyyfuckingggawdd~ my dearest avril!what have you become?

just another airheaded bimbotic trashy looking blonde. ):

the media stinks at how it manages to conform almost all individuals.

fuck them.

red umbrellas

2007-03-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

i am but human.

you..you..you..and you..

2007-03-04T13:41:00.000+08:00

suddenly the time seems to be passing fucking slow.how annoying is that huh? damn fucking annoying i tell u.im stuck here with a truckload of moronic losers.

*tsktsk*

life is a bitch eh.and anw.i really hate everything.i hate all of u fucked up pple. *puke*
dumbasses.just get the hell away frm me.zz.

all the TOYS in the world.

2007-02-26T15:38:00.000+08:00

finally it hit me..i understan the sudden desire for these things called TOYS.it started last yr.i started developing a craving for TOYS.these inanimate things that gave me comfort and made me happy.why exactly did i crave them?i never was a fan of such things.it wasnt exactly a hobby tailored for my personality.and yet i felt such an attraction.i felt a need for them.lots of them in fact..

now i understand why i wanted them.lots of them close to me..when im alone at home.when i feel detached from the world.TOYS do not judge me..they do not disappoint me..they do not hurt me..they do not leave me..they would always be mine for as long as i keep.does sound a lil pathetic and feeble..to cower in the face of pain & hurt..and to bury my heart and tears in them.but who else could i trust me to except for them?who else would be able to handle me without hurting.without worrying and without judging.

okay.im just being emo again.

just drown it all.

2007-02-26T00:54:00.000+08:00

been studying at starbucks..with my dear rabbit.but i usually get bored really soon.and start going into a daze..thinking abt stuff..see..i made a paper crane from starbuck's serviettes. :x

met up with ish darling just the other day.had a FULL dinner with her at cme HK style cafe in white sands..yeap.i had chicken baked rice and she ate hor fun. :x the baked rice was bigger than my face?! zzZ! i only ate 1/3 of it.and i felt like a xmas turkey. zzz.. after that we had a walk around and talked a lil here and dere.i miss her so much. (:

we went to Ben & Jerry's for ice cream.and darling ish treated me to a mountain of ice cream!! ^^ love love love her to bits. (make me fat) LOL~

after a lil while..i realised me and ish had smething in common..
LOL? my mirror and her HP accessorie. hahaa..cute eh? hmm..doesnt it remind u of the china and spore girl students ish?? :x LOL~!! okayy..inside joke.*er-hem*

my darling girl and the shithole of ice cream. :x
for my dearest..my poor imitation of a polaroid. LOL~
x listenin to : death cab for cutie..again & again....

gone like the wind.

2007-02-25T10:46:00.000+08:00

wow..finally im back in bunk again..haven been working much these days..just feel so bored and so sick of doing things that i find have not much meaning.exams are but an excuse to get me away from work.so i have more time in my life to waste away.just feel like life is so aimless.i dont know what i wanna do with this life.its but a blank page.and after 17 years its become increasingly plain..how is dat so?

arent people supposed to know what they want as they get older?but my mind draws a blank.i dont have a drive for anything.everything just appears so stupid, boring and redundant.its like i suddenly totally do not give a fuck about anything anymore.

and it feels like i lost someone.though theres noone else to blame but myself.mayb im just too pre-occupied with myself i cant open up anymore.its like the world inside me is too much i cant let anyone else inside.i guess im sorry.no, things will not be the same anymore.the sadness cant be explained in words.nor will i drown it in tears.pushing people away i guess is how i deal.though i tried to lie to myself.i guess i saw it cming..well.whats done is done.haha.watch me live.a life in this ugly wretched world.

x listening to : death cab for cutie

in LOVE in LOVE in LOVE in LOVE..!!

2007-02-22T03:07:00.000+08:00

with striker a.k.a shuai ge (:

rand0m rand0m rand0m.

i was ripped in two.

tell me what im living for.

2007-02-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

suddenly feel like life is just so meaningless.

dont you think so? crap.
life sucks. LOL

I'VE BEEN PHOTO-SHOPPED! :x

2007-02-15T19:38:00.000+08:00

tralalalalaa~ these few days..

2007-02-15T01:57:00.000+08:00

weet. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to everyone. (: yeap..the highly commercialised occasion is finally over~~ohh well.had fun anw.thx dearie. ^^

yeapyeap..gonna update on felFEL's bdae and the zhi lian session in the toilet todae.LOL~~

felFEL's (:

celebrated on 12/2 went to taka's SEOUL GARDEN for dinner aft lec.i went to lec for u girl!!appreciate k~!! LOL~~its so rare i even attend lecs. :x okok.so off we were..with a secret plan in motion. TEE HEE HEE~ first we gave TEH fake presents consisting of undergarments + contact solution + and a whole load of crap~ LOL~~ even blew up balloons and wrote messages on a pink ball~!! ^^

yeap.shes highly protective of her presents.LOL~~! (:

aft school we were off to town~yayy! (:

my poldarx. (:numees dear and the b'dae girlie~!! ^^"
UPON RECIEVING HER PRESENT SHE GOT SO ENGROSSED IMMEDIATELY!!

NOTHING TO SAY..EXCEPT V A I N! :x

thats how BIG her present was~!! ^^"
felFEL's princess mirror & box of treats~!! (:

hahaa~ended up talkin crap outside taka..i love my girls..cant bear to part if we have to nxt yr..hmm..well..if its meant to be it is i guess.just wan u guys to know i LOVE u. (:

valentine

spend sme time the prev night writing love letters to my poldarx. (: hope they love the love notes.hahaaa..i wrote until my arm ache okay! :x yeap..brought the letters to class uncluding chocolates. TEE HEE HEE~ after the tut went to zhi lian in the toilet. :x

numees say i act sexy! diew ._.
..and one of the ghastly LITTLE MISS BAD! (:
woot~action in the toilet by me & rabbit. :x
sorry we couldnt stop laughing! LOL~
I LOVE MY GIRLS! *hugs*

after school took bus with rabbit and my muofy~discussed sme issues..im still vexed abt it~ :x haix..ohh well..met dearie at inter.and OMFG he gave me heart att.he was holding a precious moments paper bag.this is gay la. LOL~ but nvm..off we went to town..

went to heeren and cineleisure..whr darling bought me a belt frm FLASH & SPLASH..thx for it..^^ den ended ate at VILLAGE (somewhat like marche just diff name. :x) located at heeren's basment. (: weet.we ate VEGS IN OYSTER SUACE, CHICKEN BREAST + BROWN SAUCE, CHICKEN THIGH + BLACK PEPPER, PORK & CHEESE SAUSAGE, GRILLED SEABASS FILLET & SPICY WEDGES..

*FAT* :x

hahaa~~food was not bad..but everything was drowned in TABASCO SAUCE for me~!! just adore TABASCO SAUCE to bits! :x dearie drank root beer while i ordered banana smoothie! *yum yum* hahaa~after the main courseS :x we ate dessert! which was toasted waffle with tiramisu ice cream~ ^^ *drool*

its made of 5 lil hearts! LOL~

yeapyeap..ohh ya..dearie got me a bag i picked out a few days ago frm ACCESSORIZE. ^^" thx so much..its reallie nice. (: *touched* yeap..and i gt us matching watches frm FOSSIL! damn nice.he says its very 'grunge' ._. i just love it.LOL~ (probably cos its black!)

the face of the watch changes color! stylo milo right?! :x okayy..LOL~~im so broke now..

I LOVE YOU DEARIE~ *hugs*

*eats grass*

tata~im off..gt sch tml..*yawn*

x listenin to : gazette (:

CHINAS vs BANGALAS

2007-02-12T13:03:00.000+08:00

FYI if u dont know how its pronounced, its CHEE-NA (CHINA). (:

yeah yeah..im not discriminating or what alright, but their actions and stuff really irk me. :x i mean like the other day i was on the train right, and then a few stops ltr sme lady cmes in and plops dwn bside me.im not 100% sure shes really frm CHINA but hell she sure was CHEE-NA!

imagine..i was just sitting there..and she was kinda invading into my space..fat ass eh :x but its not because shes really fat~ its just that she sits with her legs open REAL wide and she keeps raising her hands to fondle with her hair! WTF? its like her elbows almost whacked my face.

aRGhHHhh~

i was like.."okayy...weird.." and then she gets kinda gross. she started by taking off her sandals..and then she talks on her hp real loud.and she starts scratching the soles of her feet. *YUCK* and then.. WITH THE SAME HAND she scratches her scalp and plays with her hair..after that..WITH THE SAME HAND! she touches her face.

T_______________T

G R O S S~!!

yeap..after talking on hr hp with her mega voice she slouches back on her seat and starts to poke me with her elbows again.GAWD.how annoying! ):

geex.but at least they dont smell like a curry plantation, jasmine tree or coconut. LOL~~~~~

they are equally horrid to me. :x
YES, IM RACIST.

anw..celebratin my dearest FEL's bdae with her today~!!goin to have a nice dinner aft school.they are dragging me to lec~!!NOooooOOOOooo~ im goin to die of boredoom.im certain. ): ohh well.*sobx* anything for my girls.shall blog again tonight or tml.tata~

x listenin to : alice nine! ^^"

midnight blues

2007-02-07T03:31:00.000+08:00

~~nothing will ever melt this heart.~~

YATCH TRIP~! hOooOOoO~

2007-01-28T14:24:00.000+08:00

yayyy~!! busy busy week! Firstly i would like to express much love to my dearest rabbit who was with me thruout the whole project period. T.T

stupid stupid projs.tsktsk.anw..kpt seeing alot of ex dumanites arnd lately.LOL~ weird eh.tink i saw more then 5 in 2 days.L O L~ okie..2 pix of my n my dearest rabbit cming up! (:

hahaa~yeap.my dearest dearest rabbit!okayy..moving on..haven been able to blog much lately just been so caught up in school n work.took alot of off-days this mth cos i was just too tired n worn out. ): yeap.carol is so very tired.ahahaa..ohh well.anw mr kenneth shu-shu (UNCLE) is leaving us sn.. ): *cries* i will miss him la.hes a nice supervisor or O.M as he self proclaims.LOL~ haix.yeap. smebody else will be taking over for 3 mths..hmm..

*wonders if bunk will last that long*

yeap..haha.so ytd we went on a yatch trip. (: me, honey, elie dar, kent, ian, kenneth & his 2 fwenx. (: it was fun though i was a lil seasick bcos i was previously CARSICK (much thx to kenneth who gt us lost!) haha.and the wind was so cooling! great experience la.very nice reallie..would have been nicer though if it wasnt pouring thruout. ): yeap.so heres sme pix.a few only though..cos i was aslp for 1hr+ of the trip.the weather just too shiok alr! *eek!*

a-yo-ho-ho~ stormy weather ahead. ):

darling and me. *hugs* (:

LOVE to icycoal & cloudie! ^^

model : miss icycoal :X

kinda reminds me of battleship.lol~

the deck of the yatch~! (:

on the way back..lovely~ ^^

actually there are more pix.but im reallie lazy. eek! yeap n i tink im late..so..haha..the rest is up to imagination!LOL~~okie..im off to mt my darling elie~ tata! (:

x listenin to : the rasmus (:

9pm on Monday?

2007-01-22T20:52:00.000+08:00

just woke up to 6 miss calls and 6 new sms.
had a bad slp.my neck still aches.jack was probably struggling.
woke up to an empty house.
frankly im so bored now im fucking pissed.
empty promises.
i should not have woken up.
for im just gulping down orange juice to numb my hunger.
fuck im bored.
i even when to search for super mario online to entertain myself.
ended up the game wouldnt even start. LOL~
everythings just really savvy eh.
disturbed people should just see a psychiatrist.
i sure dont give a damn.

x blasting : Muse and killswitch engage.

im so very tired!

2007-01-21T10:29:00.000+08:00

yayy~im awake at this godforsaken hour~!! OMFG~~i wonder hw people can wake up this early just to play maplestory.

HAPPY 3RD MONTH ._.

wHee~sme uncle just approached me regarding an AUDITION problem..LOL~? he takes 2hr to patch 1 patch for audition and audition has had 12 patches since the installation CD.dot.he can wait long long to patch finish (:

okie.happy thoughts!!
1) DADDY made me breakfast!! *sweet*
2) I was only 10mins late!!
3) Im listening to nice music~!!
4) I had fun on the train laughin at people. (:

okayy..i ran out of happy thoughts.zzZ~ i saw a hairy woman on the train.she had long LONG leg hair.eeK~ okayy.im getting bored of blogging~ tata!

x listenin to : muse!

UNINTENDED

2007-01-19T12:20:00.000+08:00

love this song by Muse..

You could be my unintended

Choice to live my life extended

You could be the one Ill always love

You could be the one who listens

to my deepest inquisitions

You could be the one Ill always love

Ill be there as soon as I can

But Im busy mending broken

pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged

All my dreams and all my balance

She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended

Choice to live my life extended

You should be the one Ill always love

Ill be there as soon as I can

But Im busy mending broken

pieces of the life I had before

Ill be there as soon as I can

But Im busy mending broken

pieces of the life I had before

Before you

x listenin to : Muse

numb.

2007-01-14T10:30:00.000+08:00

up early in the morn.BUT still late as usual..now in bunk rotting with switchfoot playing.been a long while since i've heard switchfoot, weezer..even matchbook romance.wow.fls like time flies so very fast.haha.im 18 dis yr~dats reallie fast yeah..n yet i wished i was still 8.when everything in this world wasnt so complex, hurting and ugly.

feeling numb all over again..but i guess im better off dis way.jux felt like mayb i was better off alone fer nw.not is probably not the time i dive right in again.i guess it could be because my heart was never here to begin with.because someone broke it pretty badly.LOL~~ (drama)

lastly, im sorry.but i guess i jux cant love yet.forgive me.

contentment? (:

2007-01-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

let it go, let it seep away.

consume it all in your flames.

excrutiating seconds make up the day,

in this grey bubble of a world.

roam this land of the living dead,

could someone take my life away?

the haunting shades of black and red,

that no sunlight could keep at bay.

gallons of blood coursing through your veins.

with hints of sadistic pleasures to taste.

all that restrain would be in vain,

we'll all be ashes and dust one day.

the stars fall from the blanket sky,

for what is a shell without depth?

will the sun ever rise before i die?

drop contentment on my doorstep.

just a lil something i wrote during acct. tut.hahaa~ (:

RANDOM RANDOM!

blogger sucks you know.i cant post anymore pictures.argh!

and fcuk the stoopit cleaner who threw away my snapple.ASS~!!

and im so damn tired now.glad dat i saw my precious ishie today~!! (:

*jumps for joy*

i missed her so VERY much. ^^

okay.im sick AGAIN.sobx.suckx my nose is stuffy again.ahhHH~~~~

x listenin to : switchfoot

change

2006-12-30T05:19:00.000+08:00

dont people find life mundane?isnt almost 80% of events in a day predictable?yes we can sae dey differ now and then.but..what aim do we have?why do we even try so hard sumtimes to live? ):

why do we even bother abt loving others.when 'others' may never reciprocate or 'others' will change.mayb similar but yet different in a way.nth fls like what it used to be.cause the world is revolving.and the days are weeping away.people grow.uncontrollably.and we can onli stand by and watch.

am i losing interest in life?yes.everytings different though its the same.time passes quickly but with no meaning.no passion.no INTEREST.none at all..why is that so?is there someting seriously wrong with me?how is it that i show no excitement.no fulfillment..

haha.losing interest in audi.things have changed.surroundings have changed.atitudes have changed.my mind is but a blank sheet.and my body an empty vessel.bored.how very boring is living..

lalalalaaaa~

2006-12-29T11:21:00.000+08:00

okayy..im here again after 10,000 years..hahaha.okie.onli 18 days.but dont you find life just oh so boringg?gt work ltr.and i so dont fl like working.BUT NO $$. *sobx*

yayy.i captured cloudie~~shes on my bed sleeping now.wHeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

muahahahahahaa....

hee hee.i've gt new stitchies to add to my collection.yayy..now i've onli gt a mere 12. ):

more MORE more~~ ^^

ohh yess..btw.my phone was stolen..BOOO~~~~~~~ it was stolen so i lost all my contacts.but i've gt my hp no back up.so darlings kindly leave me ur name n contacts okie? (:

okayyy~~im going to rest more now.muahaahaa.tata~

milk coffee please.

2006-12-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

hello.

today i sat for the principles of retail management mid semester exam.and i must admit.the questions were truly predictable.i was able to understan the requirements of the questions but was unable to successfully provide an adequate answer because, sadly, i fell asleep during revision the prev night.i opened my textbk solely with the intention of mastering the topics given.alas, upon opening the textbk, i fell into deep slumber only to be awaken the following morning a few hours prior to the examination.it was well done & good game.what a wonderful 25mins i spent in there scribbling random thoughts and dazing off occasionally.school is really oh so boring.

yes.im done crapping.haha.

and guess what.today morning i decided to be a joker n walk arnd with one black and one purple eye. (: cant blame me.my contacts are just seriously screwed.haha.so i resorted to wearing one permanent and one disposable contact.ohh well.i was already concealing the awkward feature to the best of my ability.however i guess a purple eye is just far too noticeable. (: and yes.i did look rather demonic.like a vampire.added fact that im quite fair made it worse.ohh well.whats done is done.at least my vision was much clearer~! (:

NEWS ALERT~!! i've gt two hammies now.and they are called coffee n milk.initially they were named senababy n shuoobaby.but.hmm..it felt pretty weird to me.what if shuoobaby died.i would be real sad. ): ohh well.so i changed it to coffee n milk.wahaa.coffee is darker n milk is well..fairer~! DUH!! ._. yeah.n dey will be put in baby's hse because mimi doesnt want pets here.pebbles was alr a major exception.*sigh* ohh well.at least i gt em.^^ n dey were so mini n so light wen i carried em in my hands.n most importantly~dey didnt bite me at all~!! (:

dont you wish we were hamsters?haa.

mai otome. (:

2006-12-11T11:17:00.000+08:00

i almost forgot about it.
my mai otome figurines. (:

haruka~!

nina~!!

nao~!!

erstin~!

akane~!

..last but nt least arika~!

i still prefer mai hime though.hmm.mai otome a lil draggy. ._. ohh well.i wish sergei n arika gt tgt in mai otome zwei.hee.tata~

bloody bored.

2006-12-11T11:08:00.000+08:00

you know.sometimes humans really amuse me.

haha.

so im bored stiff.everytime i look at those words, those chapters in the textbk.i get so turned off.seriously how can anybody even read that?hmm.amazing if i can even last 30mins in the exam hall.bored.if i have to read the text over again im sure i'll turn into stone.i just realised i always get very easily annoyed.because seriously.the world is just too boring n screwed.it pains me just to exist here.im wondering when it will be the time for me to pass on.i wonder why.

why do humans crave to be humans?

religions speak of reincarnation n rebirth.why do we hope to be reborn again as humans?humanity is destructive.we claim to be masters of this world n yet we are slaves to ourselves.we are all controlled by our emotions, our desires, and our never-ending crave for freedom n release.seriously, dont you think we wld be better off as someting less complex?

i'd rather not be human n suffer the pain n grief of humanity.n the death that slowly seeps into my system.everyday is a step towards the end.im bored.exams are such a bore.zzZ..

x listenin to : snow patrol - chasing cars

time flies~

2006-12-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

was out ytd with the loveliees aft sch.had loads of fun.been a long time since i spent a dae wif em. (:

was rotting on the bus 518 cos the journey was damn long n we kinda all gt split up cos the bus was packed. ): yeap.sux.so i stoned n started listening to old tracks by switchfoot rasmus and even ashlee.n i realised so much has changed!its as though i transcended thru time n jux landed rite at the spot whr i was.it felt like my whole life had changed.who i was then n now.the people surrounding me then n now.everyting changes.doesnt it?weird how my love fer rock has evolved into what it is today.im in love with antic cafe~!!hahaaa..wow.n it feels like i've moved on alot frm whr i was before.i do miss what i had then.but theres a time in my life changes shd be made. (:

wHee.im crapping again.geex.okie.so im goin broke majorly!i kp spending my $$ like water~

*flush* *flush* *flush*

LOL..i spent $300 mayb?in the last 2 days.zzZ.n i gt a new stitch~!i love stitch.its jux so bloody adorable. (: i gt a top, a bag and finally a jigsaw frame.heee.. (:

*pinch*

x listenin to : antic cafe - super rabbit~!!

day out wif the gurlies~

2006-12-06T00:20:00.000+08:00

so todae was a boringg dae in sch.had loads of fun being noisy in class~!

wHeeeeeeee~~!!

okie okie.went to sakura fer dinner wif numees fel felii yen minnie mouse n mel. (:

we were like pigs wiping out the entire scene.LOL.it was like *boom* and tons of food crowded at our table.LOL..cant hlp it.we are pigs eh? *oink oink*

food food FOODIE~!!

we got right dwn to business~!
MUAHAHAHAA~~!

an unglam pic of me drooling over ichigo bliss~!

evil carol snatching B1 from B2~!!

i succeeded~!! (:

the loveliess~!!(bad shot of me~sobx!)

see-see~!!im gettin FAT already~!!

the scraps and pieces left~! LOL..

my super spastic loveliees~!! ^^

after the sakura treat went to white sands wif darling and i spent arnd $100~!!
!!~waddebloodyhelll~!!

i found daffy duckie~! (:

i got this fer $49.90~!! T . T its a jack figurine dat has a detachable head n u can change it with 12 different expressions~!! CUTE cute CUTE cute CUte~~!!!

i got stitch a girlfriend~~!!!wahahahahaaa..shes adorable eh? (:

i got us matching mugs.how cheesy~! LOL..aww.(actualli i wanna own both.too cute to resist!)
darling got my mai-Zhime which is like mai-otome.
._.

i shall watch it ltr haha.n drown myself in green tea.muahahahaaa. (:
alrites~!im off shopping tml wif gurlies at bugis~!! ^^

and i miss my darlings n i gt eliephants present alr~!!yipee~ (:

x listenin to : antic cafe - hatsukoi (:

strolling in a minefield.

2006-12-04T21:51:00.000+08:00

do you ever feel like we are strolling in a minefield?
we never know what others may decide to do bhind our backs.
we arent sure hw they wld react or how they feel exactly.
who can we trust apart frm ourselves?
many hide behind a fair facade.
what truely lies beneath the skin we may never know.
pple often fabricate they truth to justify their actions.
its tiring hw humans can be so unpredictable n hurtful.
tsktsk.
is there anyone in this world we can trust apart frm ourselves?

toys and me.

2006-12-04T03:01:00.000+08:00

i have recently been infatuated wif jack and stitch!im gettin tons of them n they are invading my bed!!wahh..i dunno wy.ohh well..dey are reallie adorable anw! ^^

my jigsaw~! love it loads. (:

stitchie stitchies~!! love em.wHee~~

everybody loves sesame street. LOL.

i finally gt my precious gloomy bear!!yayyy~~!*pinch*

say hello to jackie~!

(btw, this doll costs $37 bcos i gt it frm the scammer push cart stall opp the food court in bugis.it onli costs $24.50 in more than words!arghh~SCAMMERS!!pissed.)

heres dearest sally~! hee hee.i combed her hair.LOL.

my newly bought figurines~!! adorable! (:

(theres supposed to be 5!!but blogger sux and it cant upload the images. T . T )

sux sux sux.arghH~!

nvm.jux watched episode 9 of death note cant wait fer the death note part 2 movie to cme out~!!opens in cinemas on the 28th of december.wHee~ n aft the movie i will buy the dvd wen it cmes out and allow it to collect dust on my shelves.LOL..i wanna redecorate my rm!!paint it red or smeting.bored.okie.im off to slp again.im tired.hee heee..

x listenin to : nothing reallie.LOL.

random random

2006-11-29T00:28:00.000+08:00

im bored.

im b o r e d.

im so very bored.

im broke.

im b r o k e.

im so very broke.

im tired.

im t i r e d.

im so very tired.

im fatty.

im f a t t y.

im so very fatty.

im sick.

im s i c k.

im so very sick.

lost.

l o s t.

so very lost.

.s h u t u p.

emo yet again?

2006-11-26T21:53:00.000+08:00

its true wen pple say that nth good lasts forever.
it seems everyting does really have an expiry date where after a certain period of time everyting just turns to bitter and sour.and we all find it so hard to carry on.so what exactly do pple do once they reach the expiry date?they move on to smeting new.or they continue.and you would forget how they use to be.they would act with such monstrousity like savages feeding on your heart.tearing it apart with such rage.and all you can do is just stand dere your feet rooted in.your tears will flow but they will not take away your pain.no one can save u but urself.so when will the expiry date be?tired tired tired of crying over nth and everyting.such vacuous thoughts.wy cant anything just stay as pure and simple as it was?is it because humans can only be satisfied by complications and dramatised emotions?do we all just feel much more alive with pain n weariness seeping within our veins?sick.demented fools.emo emo emo.why is it back again?

im really just crapping again.

emo emo..

2006-11-25T21:38:00.000+08:00

tell me who needs me.